The Gift of L.O.V.E.

13 If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast,[a] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. 9 For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; 10 but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly,[b] but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13

and more psalms..

     So I haven't written here in some time.  For a while I had a monthly post and well…life happens.  I have been a bit of a blank page lately.  Not in my head of course, just in my writing.  My head is a constant whirlwind of thoughts and ideas by the minute of which I cannot put onto the page because either I am too tired, or nothing comes out on the page.  Sometimes there is no way to provoke expression through writing, one just has to wait…and wait..and its painful..but we must wait.  The thing about me and this blog is also that when I do write I tend to do it in my personal journal and not on my blog.  I wonder if anyone else has this problem?  Anyhow, I'm not sure why I don't just directly write on my blog.  I guess I still feel like some things are just too personal…but I'm working on it.  I am a wounded healer and my life experiences is what builds connection with others…that was the message I received from another wounded healer and Catholic author a few weeks back.  Perhaps I will get into that another time…right now I just want to share a post I wrote in my personal journal on July 16th.  The entry includes two psalms I wrote on the spot.  Here it is:
------------
Wednesday, July 16, 2014

I am very frustrated right now.  I just want to be utterly honest.  I am sitting here in the quiet space of my room trying to write up a blurb for the young adult ministry starting in a few weeks and I can’t think of anything to write.  I have done this before several times.  I have read scripture, spiritual books, quotes, etc and yet I cannot think of anything to write.  I feel empty of words.  Yet there is something in me that wants to burst…..

Lord, please here my cry

of utter frustration 

I can’t seem to find my inspiration 

I am not sure what is in the way Lord 

but I pray for you to intervene and remove

the blockage that is in the way

Oh Lord I feel empty of words, empty of imagination

like an empty jar that you can see right through

Life has been quite hectic and noisy but isn’t the

struggle and the hustle what inspires creativity?

I sit here in silence and I hear my own emptiness

I want to be enthusiastic about this young adult ministry

I want to exercise the gift that the Lord put in me

I want to fulfill my purpose in this community, but yet

I feel empty, perhaps I have forgotten how to value silence

how to value the opportunities to read and write or just

sit and become inspired, this is the time Oh Lord

and I just cannot come up with anything but I will continue

to remain hopeful that the Holy Spirit will work in me

and allow me to come up with something solely inspired by

God.

That was my psalm for the day.  I need to write psalms daily.  Since I started writing psalms they have been mostly of lament or frustration.  I need to write psalms of gratitude and hope.  In fact here is an attempt to write a psalm of hope:

The Lord who is slowly revealing to me the meaning of Love

through the life experiences of others, 

through a sweet LOVE song by 

Musiq Soulchild or Tendy Pendergrass

through the beauty of nature and a million trees

right in the center of the this Big Apple City

through the compliments of others

or just a simply random smile

The Lord who embraces me and showers me with Love

who looks at me and sees beauty made in His image

who looks at me and sees greatness and potential

The Lord who opens up the gates and breaks down the walls

built up over the years of walking through the valley of the shadow of death

The Lord who picks up the pieces and makes a masterpiece again

The Lord who lifts me up...Higher than I’ve ever imagined

The Lord who fills me up when I am on empty and makes my cup runneth over

The Lord who redirects my path when I am lost and looking for love

in all the wrong places 

THe Lord who reminds me that only He who is God is Love.

Amen!

Un Sonero Mayor...

      Hoy Puerto Rico perdio un tesoro en la historia de sus soneros.  Cheo fue producto de la era de la salsa en el Barrio Spanish Harlem en Nueva York en los 70's, y formo parte de la Fania All Starts.  Aqui estan dos de mis canciones favoritas de el….

      Today, Puerto Rico lost one of its great musicians.  He was a product of Spanish Harlem's salsa era in the late 60's and early 70's in New York City, and part of the great Fania-All stars.  Here are two of my favorite songs of his...

March Ministry Madness

     As part of the young adult ministry I am helping to lead at my neighborhood parish, we are showing the bible series which the History Channel showcased last year.  After meeting with the Monsignor, we decided it would be a great activity to prepare and lead us through this Lent season. We are showing one 45-minute episode and having 15 minutes of reflection every Sunday until Easter.  It has been slightly challenging to get people to come but each day it seems like more and more people show up.  I am grateful to the Lord for this ministry and pray that it can provide folks with nourishment in their relationship with the Lord.  The interesting thing happening is that most of the people who are showing up are not necessarily young adults.  Of course, no one is turned away.  I've just had some struggles with the way older people process information and tend to take over conversations.  It has taught me how to set boundaries and also how to be patient with others. I find myself feeling more and more comfortable each Sunday with facilitating the reflection time.  I struggle with speaking in front of others.  I also lack confidence in what I have to say, I guess somehow I am afraid that what I will say is wrong.  I know the only way to get past this feeling, is to practice.  I guess this is practice.  God has provided me the platform in this lay ministry program to practice these things.  I am grateful my supervisor is helping to guide me through this process.

    In fact, a few weeks ago my supervisor in the program came to supervise me during one of the bible episodes and see how I facilitate the reflection time.  Afterwards, she said to me "I would like to see you do more evangelizing."  It was empowering to hear her say this.  In my history of being active in the church and working with priests, I had never heard anyone tell me this.  Here was my supervisor, a woman and lay leader of her parish, encouraging me to evangelize.  She spoke to me as if she felt confident in what I had to say.  She spoke to me as if I already had the potential and capacity in me to evangelize.  This to me is revolutionary in the Catholic Church, where women are not allowed to evangelize.  I think her saying that in front of the Monsignor may have made him feel a bit uncomfortable too.  I admire her courage and know that I have a responsibility to answer that call.  There are no coincidences, and God did not place her in my path to be taken lightly.  God is working in all of us.

     Since then I must say God has opened up opportunities for me to pray and evangelize.  God has also been expanding my horizons to learn about other faiths.  In the lay ministry program we only had two sessions of our inter-religious dialogue course, but God has provided me with more instruction and reflection on this topic and how important it is in my profession as a social worker.  Here are some of the amazing events I have been a part of lately:

Faith Rooted Organizing Conference
Social Work and Religious Diversity
Advocacy Academy

    It has been quite madness this March but it is all for the glory of God!!  I hope to be able to share some reflections from these events in future posts.  I am grateful to my Lord and Savior for these blessings that enrich and nourish my heart, spirit, and soul.  I hope that I can be an instrument of the Lord's peace and be disciplined, organized, and obedient to His calling.
 

    

February love

     February is a special month for me.  It is the month of my birthday, it is black history month, and also the month associated with Love.  The last few years of my birthday were challenging but this year..33 has arrived with lots of energy and motivation.  I am grateful that this year feels so good.  Yet in reflecting on my life, there are still plenty of things I struggle with.  One of those things is love.  In a conversation with my spiritual sister she declared that I have a guard around my heart.  I wonder where I can go back in time to remove that guard and just be open and loving.  The other day I was frustrated about love and this is what poured out of me:

Psalm for Love

I am speechless and 

perhaps this is not the right time

to write about love

I am frustrated and disappointed

and I don’t know how to describe it

I have waited much time and busied

myself with other things that have

kept me from love 

I can pursue justice, work, and friendship

wholeheartedly

but when it comes to love

there is a halt and everything 

just stops and I don’t know 

what to say or what to do

to express my feelings 

I don’t even know if I trust my feelings

my rationality takes over as I try to 

reason and make sense of why this 

may not be a good time or it may 

not be the right person 

Who am I to decide?

Why is it so difficult to pursue love?

I ask myself, what happens in me when

I feel chemistry

that instead of 

opening up, I shut down and sabotage 

any possibility

Lord make me brave for love 

Allow me to pursue love like my

pursuit of food and nutrition when

I am hungry

Allow me to pursue love like I pursue

education and service

Allow me to pursue love like I pursue 

justice and equality

Allow me to pursue love like I pursue 

friendship

Allow me to pursue love the way I pursue your

guidance, your love, and your wisdom

Please direct my footsteps and heart in the

direction of love 

Make me brave for the love that awaits 

for the love that you have for me 

Make me brave for Your glory and Your

Will for me to be fulfilled.

This is the lens through which I see love..it is blurry and opaque and I need to give it a good wipe down so I can see clearer with the eyes of faith.  How beautiful it is to realize that we are given an opportunity to love, that a door opens for us, and that there is a possibility that love is near.

Lately..I wouldn't know.  I wonder if love passes me by when I am walking 8 blocks to my train station. I wonder if love knocks me over on the subway hustle.  I wonder if love keeps an eye on me from afar.  I wonder if its around the corner or many miles away and we have not met yet.  I pray for God to be a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.  I pray that the Lord can humble me and open my heart to the possibility of love's arrival.

A Psalm for Purpose

     In the Fall of 2010 I was nominated to be part of the Lay Ministry Program in the Pastoral Institute of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Brooklyn and Queens.  It is a 3 year program to become a commissioned lay minister in my parish by way of theological education, spiritual formation, mentoring, pastoral skills, and ministry practicum.  I had waited many years for something like this and it came when I least expected it.  The first two years was a refreshing breeze of soaking up education and historical information.  We went through a process of reflection to decide on a ministry.  I went through many phases with this.  I thought about a bereavement group, then I contemplated RCIA, I even got creative enough to think that this blog could be a ministry of some sort.  The last year of the program involved putting the ministry in motion.  It was a very challenging year for me so I had to postpone the last year of the program.  My decision came mainly because it was also my last year of grad school and I needed to focus on getting my degree.   One thing at a time…is what God whispers to me all the time, but at times my options get the best of me.

     Finally once I returned, it was decided that I would do a Young Adult Ministry.  But before that, while I took the year off many changes had taken place in my life.  Radical changes that I resisted greatly at one point, and sometimes I admit that I still wonder why it all happened but I know God will reveal that to me in His time.  One of those changes was my parish.  I had relocated to the town of Astoria in Queens and lived closer to Our Lady of Mount Carmel.  For that reason and others of which I refer to in this blog post, I took the leap to finish my ministry at my new parish.  Though I was not 100% sure about my decision I went ahead and requested to meet with the Monsignor of the new parish.  I prayed about the meeting and hoped it would all go well.  I remember thinking how I can explain to this priest that I was raised in the church, what words will I use and will that be boasting about myself.  I almost felt like it was going to be another job interview.  Low and behold, it was not.  By the grace of God, the Monsignor opened the doors of his church to me and extended an invitation for me to finish my ministry at his parish.  It was a blessing! The parish happened to be in dire need of a young adult ministry which has always been tugging away at my heart, especially scripture based ministry.  The Monsignor made me feel very welcomed and as if he knew me for many years.  It felt right to take those steps forward in faith.  But of course nothing comes that easy and I've struggled so much during this ministry.  It has been an internal battle within myself, my confidence, my ability to speak with authority, and to let the holy spirit reside in me.  I have these desires of the heart but I can hardly put them into words.  

     This past weekend I was distraught about the condition of my ministry.  I felt troubled that the few times we had gotten together that it was not purposeful for God.  There is a flame within me that is just waiting to be lit up.  On Sunday morning I had a minor meltdown about it and pleaded to God to help me see what I needed to see.  In the midst of my painful heartache, I wrote a psalm for purpose:

Lord, my heart aches to do Your will. 

my heart aches to make things purposeful for you

When I sit in the midst of others, especially in my ministry

and we speak of our day it doesn’t feel purposeful

I don’t feel that this ministry is being used for the purpose of 

giving You the glory, oh God, but more to give each other glory 

my heart longs to give you glory, my voice longs to speak your name

my spirit longs to sing your praise!

I don’t know where to begin, I long to be brave for you

I feel like I have failed in all these opportunities I have

been given to evangelize and speak of you to others

I just don’t know what it is but my heart aches over it

it is a deep sorrow..a weeping sorrow 

and I just don’t know when it will end

I can think of the many things I can say but when I am 

in the moment of saying them I feel drowned out by others

I don’t feel like I have authority to speak 

It’s not for certificates sake that I want to continue this ministry

It’s because there is a dire need for someone to minister to young adults

there is a dire need for someone to guide, inspire, and stir up the hearts

of young adults who all desire to have a heart for God.

What does it mean to have a heart for God?

and if I have a heart for God then how can I speak from that heart

how can I see beyond the fears and insecurities

and just speak for the glory of God

Just like David says in Psalm 40:8

“I delight to do Your will, o my God;

Your law is within my heart.”

I long to speak from that place; I long 

to hear from that place where the holy spirit 

lies within me; where You, dear God, are able to use me

as an instrument of Your peace for Your glory.

Oh dear God, help me to make this ministry 

purposeful for You.  That no matter what happens

I have spoken from that place where you are within me

to bring you glory, worship, and praise.

     I felt a great sense of relief when I wrote the above.  In fact, by the grace of God I received clarity from it.  So many things made sense all of a sudden and I began to take some steps forward to focus on my ministry.  Somehow I wasn't utilizing the people that have been placed in my path to guide me with my ministry.  I finally contacted my supervisor of the program, Hyda, and it just felt like she was waiting for my call.  She was very attentive and patient with me as I told her about some of my struggles.  We agreed to speak weekly and it was so comforting to have that conversation with her.  Its a true blessing to be able to receive clarity and to experience a shift in understanding.  It is what I call a tender moment with God.  Oh how I wish I can have tender moments with God everyday and I'm sure that I do but with life's adversity and rat race its hard to pay attention to those tender moments.  I am going to make a conscious effort to point out the many tender moments I have with God.  I hope I can share many more of these moments here on this blog.  

    As far as the ministry, I pray to God to continue providing me with the wisdom and understanding I need to guide and continue this ministry for His glory!

Creére

     Mi amiga Samantha me enseño este video…me encanta empezar el dia con alabanzas a Jesus...que hermoso es nuestro Dios! 

Some books I've been reading lately….

Celebrating my 100th post..

   I just realized I've written 100 posts and wanted to celebrate this small accomplishment in my life when it comes to writing.  I am truly grateful for this space to express myself and share a part of me with others.  May God continue to guide me and encourage me to continue writing for His glory.  I want to thank all my special friends and family for being supportive and encouraging.  Celebrating in gratitude...

Un homenaje humilde

     En este dia de recordar las personas 
queridas que han fallecido, queria recordar a una persona que siempre admire en la communidad Puertoriqueña de Chicago.  Esa persona es Irma Romero, una mujer que fue revolucionaria, educatora, luchadora, y superadora de varios obstaculos en su vida.  Siendo Mexicana, Irma fue la mayor representante de la solidaridad entre boricua y mexicano en Humboldt Park.  Yo pienso que no soy la persona indicada para hablar sobre ella porque solo tuve encuentros limitados con ella, pero por la gracia de Dios he sido inspirada a escribir este homenaje.  De esos pocos encuentros se que Irma siempre estuvo involucrada en los esfuerzos comunitarios, sea en Humboldt Park, en el ambiente estudiantil de NEIU, o dondequiera que tenia la oportunidad de inspirar y motivar el espíritu revolucionario de una activista comunitaria con mucha pasión para ayudar y apoyar al próximo.  

   No es coincidencia que hace unos días encontré un documento que contenía unas palabras dichas por Irma.  En Diciembre del 2003, durante uno de nuestros encuentros, yo tuve el privilegio de entrevistarla para un proyecto estudiantil en Chicago.  Cuando encontré este documento y lo leí tuve una fuerte sensación de tener que compartirlo.  Mi proyecto estudiantil era sobre el apoyo de los Mexicanos en la comunidad Puertorriqueña de Chicago.  Escogí ese tema porque era lo mas que me impresionaba sobre la lucha comunitaria en Humboldt Park, Paseo Boricua.  Era y sigue siendo una lucha en solidaridad con varios grupos de otros países que han sido oprimidos por el gobierno de los Estados Unidos.  Por ejemplo los Mexicanos con su lucha de amnistía, por la reforma migratoria, y derechos humanos.  También los Palestinos en su lucha contra la ocupación en Israel que también tiene que ver con los derechos humanos.  Irma siempre estuvo presente en cada marcha sobre los derechos humanos de la gente oprimida y siempre tomaba la oportunidad de empoderar a los trabajadores obreros y las personas oprimidas por el gobierno.  Otra causa que fue muy importante para ella era la de los presos políticos y la injusticia de su encarcelamiento.  Aunque me da mucha pena que no pudo ver el día en que será libre Oscar Lopez Rivera, se que ella sentía en su corazón que ese día si llegara.

  Bueno, aquí comparto con ustedes estas palabras dichas por Irma cuando le pedí que reflexionara sobre como organizar a la gente o a los estudiantes…

"Cuando uno trata de organizar a la gente llega el momento en que uno se desespera porque ve que la gente no reaccionan inmediatamente.  Pero la vida me ha enseñado una cosa y es que no importa que la gente no reaccionen inmediatamente esa gente van a reaccionar un día cuando ha ellos les toque hacer una decisión entones ellos van a tener que reaccionar y entonces ellos van a recordar de todo lo que tu dijiste por eso es que en el proceso de organizar nosotros tenemos que ser auténticos, que ser genuinos, tenemos que creer lo que decimos porque cuando uno no habla con convicción de nuestra posición política es lo que va convencer a cualquiera si no tenemos convicción como vamos a convencer a alguien si yo misma no estoy convencida, eso es parte de este proceso que nosotros debemos hablar con el corazón, con pasión, con resolución de decir mira esto es así por tal razón...

Yo quiero que tu supieras que cuando nosotros tuvimos que hablarle a este pueblo que esta allá afuera de que teníamos presos puertorriqueños prisionera de guerra, mira eso era un issue que teníamos que nosotros debatirlo con pasión porque nos decían -ustedes están locos de que están hablando- y había que convencer a ese pueblo y lo convencimos tan bien que todo el mundo acepto que si eso son los presos, los prisioneros de guerra puertorriqueños.  Porque de la noche a la mañana uno no hace las cosas pero uno le habla, y le habla, y le habla, y le habla y uno nunca se cansa ni de hablarle ni de invitarlos y un día ellos vienen…

pues hay que tener fe.  Yo tengo dos clases de fe, tengo una fe revolucionaria pero también tengo una fe cristiana que yo siempre he tenido y yo creo en lo que digo y cuando digo las cosas las digo con pasión y convicción porque yo estoy convencida de que nuestros presos políticos deben de salir ni deben de estar presos porque?  Porque ellos no son criminales, ellos son unos luchadores porque el crimen es el colonialismo y es lo que los tiene allí presos.  Pues hay que ver eso y si nosotros no estamos convencidos de lo que hablamos, como vamos a convencer a los demás."

     Irma tu espíritu sigue muy activo en las personas que tuvieron el privilegio de conocerte..y se que aunque no pudiste ver los frutos de tus luchas, tu pasión y fuerte convicción indicaban que ya estabas en tu tierra prometida…que descanses en paz y en la gloria de Cristo Jesus.

A dose of inspiration

 Two of my favorite Nuyorican artists have been inspiring me lately with their words...

"You 

are 

more

powerful

 than

 you

 think."

  by James De LaVega

   

"You have to trust that you

 can formulate your own identity,"

 said by Manny Vega

Groovin….

    I love the music of Ziggy Marley…he is a true extension of his father…picked up right where he left off...

Oh St. Francis!

The last few days have been interesting.  On Monday my co-worker randomly shares with me the Prayer of St. Francis.  She had shared with me that she had never heard it before until she went to a friend's funeral and it was on his funeral card.  I couldn't believe she had never heard that prayer.  It's such a common and beautiful prayer. It is actually one of my favorites that I remember reading since I was very young.

That same co-worker inspired me to google the prayer and print out a few copies of it to share with others.  I shared it with various people that day.  So, today being the crazy day that it was...I left my personal phone at my desk.  I was scheduled for my first adult faith formation workshop today for the lay ministry program and I had the address on my phone which I had left behind.  I did remember that the church was called St. Francis of Assisi.  It was a bit of a journey to get there but I made it thanks to God!  I blended right into the workshop which I found to be very interesting.  I was really excited that we received a book for the class and have already started reading it and writing notes.  Anyhow...right before I walk out of the classroom at the completion of the workshop I look to the side and there it was in a frame..."Lord make me an instrument of your peace."  I did a double take when I saw it and that is when I realized that St. Francis has been trying to get my attention all week! How significant!

 As I sat in that classroom which seemed a bit old and dusty, I felt a strong urge to take photos.  Maybe next Tuesday I will take my camera and shoot some photos.  I'm not sure what lies ahead but I am excited and want to embrace it.

    On another note regarding my thoughts on the class,  as I was contemplating on my way home, I realized that whenever I feel that something limits me I begin to resist it.  I feel like someone is pushing me back and telling me I can't do it, which makes me want to push forward harder.  These thoughts came from the first few pages I read in our new book for the workshop called "Adult Faith Formation."  It talked about how important it is to evangelize.  Yet women are not allowed to evangelize in the church.  They can run groups, ministries, and teach CCD classes but more than often these things have a curriculum to follow.  I'm still having a really hard time with this and feel resistant towards the patriarchy in the church, however I continue to endure and attempt to break through those barriers...in the meantime as the professor giving the workshop stated, "we have to do the best we can within what we are allowed to do."

tygwamh

Fun and Blessed Weekend : )

   This past weekend I had the opportunity to connect with some new and old friends.  On Friday after work, me and my new friend (and co-worker) Lili went for a drink at a small bar near the job.  This was the second time we went to this place and again we were pressed for time because we had plans afterwards.  However, even if it was for just about 45 minutes, we sat to unwind from work with good spirits and a really good looking bartender.  I am really grateful to have met someone like Lili and I truly appreciate our talks at work and our seamless laughter at the little things to appreciate about life.

    That same night I was scheduled to meet up with some old friends.  My roommate Hil and I took the 1 train out to Washington Heights to meet up with my friend Christian and Christine for some dinner and dancing.  We were running late, however, Christian and Christine arrived on time.  They actually did not know each other but they found one another and by the time we arrived they seemed like old friends catching up.  Before we were done with dinner, my friend Cesar showed up to join us for a little dancing.  I know Christian and Cesar from Chicago, we all went to University of Illinois at Chicago for undergrad.  What a blessing it has been that moving to NY has allowed me to still reconnect with my old friends.  Here we all are doing big things and taking the time to celebrate with one another.  Speaking of celebration, we were celebrating my friend Christine's new job she landed last week.  I met Christine at my last job at a law firm in Manhattan.  We became close at work sending each other motivational and spiritual messages to help each other get through our days in the corporate world.  She shared with me that she recently found a spiritual message about employment I had sent to her a few years ago and that reading it again inspired her.  I am grateful we continue to remain close and be supportive of one another in our journey through life.  Boy, did we have a great time dancing and celebrating! I'm so happy for Christine...Praise God!

    On Saturday morning I met up with Julissa who used to be my supervisor at a hospital in Queens.  She is no longer my supervisor, she is my friend and like a big sister to me.  She has a beautiful daughter Julianna who is so smart and sweet.  She has the cutest curly hair and smile ever! There is nothing like being around children with their innocence and curiosity about everything.  I had such an amazing time with them.  We had brunch and then shared dessert at Martha's Bakery..YUM! I'm so grateful that God placed Julissa in my path, I have learned so much from her in the work but also about being a mom in the short time that I've known her.  I know that much of who I will become as a social worker will be because of my rich experience at the hospital under her supervision.

     Mid-Saturday afternoon I spent some quality time with my aunt (Titi Monin).  We did one of the things that we both LOVE to do.  I took her to this little thrift shop in Astoria where they have a huge collection of books for sale at a very cheap rate.  We spent at least an hour scanning all the books.  We were both able to find some that we really liked (see pic below for my books).  Afterwards we drove over to Best Buy to pick up the movie Star Trek she wanted to get for my uncle.  While there I saw that "The Bible"  DVD series was on sale for $30.  I had to get it!  It's a 4 disc movie series about the stories of the bible from Genesis to Revelation.  I decided that if I would purchase it then I would also share it with others.  I think it is a great way to have conversations about the bible and about Christ. I am looking forward to watching it and sharing it with others.  After Best Buy I took my aunt back home, watched some Star Trek and had dinner with her and my uncle and rushed home.  I truly cherish the quality time I spend with my family in New York.  

       When I got home I chatted with my roommate for a while and then my new friend and co-worker Samantha came to pick me up with her husband.  She invited me to see the Mayweather boxing fight with her husband's family at the Rosedale projects (n/k/a Sonia Sotomayor projects) in the Bronx.  I had a really great time with everyone.  I felt like I was back at home watching the fight surrounded by my brother and cousins.  Samantha and I also got a chance to share some psalms and proverbs.  I am truly grateful for my new found friend of which we can talk about Christ all day and never get tired or bored!  

       On Sunday I went to mass and had to announce an event to kick off my ministry at Our Lady of Mount Carmel.  I am blessed to have the support of Monsignor Ogle and the rest of the young adult leaders at the parish.  We will be doing a "meet and greet" with coffee and donuts to see if we can build a solid foundation for a consistent group.  I pray that God can make it all work out for the good.  I was a bit nervous making the announcement and didn't quite say everything I wanted to say but nevertheless I got through it.  I sure hope it reached some folks and they show up next week.  I have to say that lately I haven't been too motivated about the ministry.  I had been contemplating if I went through the process of choosing too fast but perhaps that is not coming from a good place.  So I claim in the name of Jesus that this ministry will flourish and become a community of young adults that Jesus will be pleased with! I have this part of me that always wants to plan things ahead of time and the uncertainty of the structure of the ministry can consume me at times.  But I know that God will make it all work out for the good..like He always does.

     Sunday evening I watched the movie "Life of Pi" with my roommate Hil and our friend David.  It was interesting for me to watch the movie since I had read the book a few years ago.  It's amazing what movie makers can do.  The animation and graphics were amazing, I imagine it had to be a difficult movie to make.  Besides the animals and the beautiful scenery in the movie, I loved the storyline about how Pi, the Hindu boy, also became Muslim and Christian.  His innocent curiosity as a boy and his family's ability to allow him to decide for himself was really inspiring.  As he explored all three religions, he ultimately sought to just love God and his faith was reflected throughout the movie.

     And that, my friends, was my fun and blessed weekend.  Here are some pics:

Dinner in Washington Heights!

Mini UIC undergrad reunion!

She only ate the M&M's! So Sweet!

My curly sweety...I love her!

My weekend treasures...religion, social justice, and magical realism!

tygijn

PROGRESS

     This message from www.dailyword.com spoke to me today...so grateful:

I APPRECIATE MY PROGRESS!

Living in the moment is a powerful practice; yet at times I may need to step back for a larger perspective. As I contemplate where I have been and what I have accomplished, I awaken to and appreciate the progress I have made.

I may not have reached my full potential yet, but I can appreciate every phase of my journey—past, present, and future. Each step forward deepens the meaning and purpose of my life.

I need not rush or force my progress. I am one with the One Presence—in everything that is and will be. Knowing I am divinely supported, I relax and enjoy life’s abundant opportunities to learn and grow.

"I am going to send an angel in front of you, to guard you on the way and to bring you to the place that I have prepared."-Exodus 23:20

Spiritual Sunday 08-18-2013

     Lately, I’ve felt a bit outside of myself and I’m not sure what that means.  I’ve just been going with the flow of life instead of having everything planned or getting myself into doing stuff just to do it.  I feel like I am staying open to the possibilities in life, yet it is a bit nerve wrecking.  I am used to being part of many things and right now I am sort of free to just sit back and take it all in.  Perhaps it is because I just finished grad school a few months ago and it took a lot of thinking, concentrating, studying, and focusing to get me through it all.  I’m not quite sure how to take all that I have learned and put it into perspective in my life, when I am often too busy thinking about what comes next. 

       Somehow I feel like I had a mental shift and my mind is often now on wondering who will be the man I will share my life with.  I remember thinking that it would be nice to have a crush.  But be careful what you wish for.  I don’t want to worry about who will be the one for me.  I just want to live my life and be open to all the possibilities that God places in my path whether its friendship or potential romantic relationship until it feels right with the one He has for me.  It has felt pretty tough to meet people in this day and age and perhaps it is because most people are doing online dating.  Somehow I don’t’ feel motivated to put myself out there like that.  But folks who do are brave souls indeed! Yesterday I heard another success story through online communication.  I wonder what God thinks about online dating.  Either way whether I do it or not, I am always waiting on the Lord.  I wait for His indication in my heart, in my soul, and in my spirit.  Which is why when someone comes into my life and I feel drawn to them, it makes me wonder what their purpose is in my life.  Not everything that shines is gold...but God has come to put the fire on this earth indeed.  If we are not refined already..He will put the fire on us so we can become shiny and pure hearted for Him.  (Oh God, please make me pure hearted  and brave for you.)

     Today’s scriptures were really moving for me.  In the first reading we hear how the

prophet Jeremiah was sent to be put to death by those who were close to the king.  According to them, Jeremiah was not looking after the welfare of the people.  The king’s men believed Jeremiah was blaspheming and that he was on the side of Babylon.  Little did they know that it was the Lord himself speaking through Jeremiah.  It is inspiring to see how Jeremiah spoke the truth.  When I think about modern times I wonder what is the truth.  It feels like nowadays there is a thin line between right and wrong.  It’s hard to think about what would Jesus do in modern times.  But as He used Jeremiah, so He will use us to bring messages, signs, and peace to the world. (Oh God, use me as you used Jeremiah to spread the truth.)

     The second reading was from the Book of Hebrews.  Paul’s words cannot be paraphrased here are the verses:

Brothers and sisters:

Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses,

let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us

and persevere in running the race that lies before us

while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus,

the leader and perfecter of faith.

For the sake of the joy that lay before him

he endured the cross, despising its shame,

and has taken his seat at the right of the throne of God. 

Consider how he endured such opposition from sinners,

in order that you may not grow weary and lose heart. 

In your struggle against sin

you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood.

That’s deep right?  Well I just want to emphasize again the last two lines because they stood out to me the most:

In your struggle against sin

you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood.

     I went to mass today.  I thank the Holy Spirit for pushing me to get up and go.  After reading the gospel this morning, I was actually looking forward to Father Bartalomew’s homily.  He is a visiting priest form Africa who has been giving the 11am English mass, and when I went last week I took a whole bunch of notes on my phone.  This time around I knew better so I took my pen and notebook.  His homily was powerful.  He reminded me of Jeremiah speaking up there in the altar with conviction.  He was spitting bible verses and I was really trying to keep up.  His homilies make me want to go to church again.  I thank God for that.  

     The Gospel was from the book of Luke and it took a lot of contemplating for me to understand it.  The priest’s homily really helped to put it into perspective.  Here are some of the notes I took:

God wants us to be thinking...He wants to challenge us to think critically about the circumstances in our lives.
Why do the Gospels seem to contradict themselves..Jesus came for Division (Book of Luke) and Jesus prince of peace? (Book of Matthew) which one is it?

In the Gospel of today Jesus is talking about opinions.  We have to endure opposition against sin.  Peace does not mean to agree with what everyone says.  It's ok to disagree with mom, dad, or other loved ones for the cause of Christ.  The challenge of Christians is to know the truth and to stand by the truth.

Christians are always being attacked in the world.  Your life is a challenge to people.  Your life is a symbol of Christ!
Our position should be where there is truth.  Disagreeing does not mean you don't love the person you disagree with.

There are disadvantages and consequences for standing up for the truth.  People will turn against you (look at Jeremiah)
However, it's not always bad consequences when you stand up for the truth, as there are always witnesses in the heavens and they will come forth in due time including the saints, the angels, and the Virgin Mary.  


Today's challenge:

Be positioned against evil, against what is not good .  You will suffer in the body but your spirit will be saved! 

tygijn

(c)rosewillberose 

True to myself...

...a little music therapy for the soul.

Son las cosas pequeñas...(It's the little things...)

     Este fin de semana he recibido unos regalitos especiales y inesperados... (This weekend I received some unexpected special gifts.....)

Una cartita especial de mi querida mama, que me alegro el corazon! Yo se que mi motivacion 
para escribir o hacer algo creativo siempre ha venido de mi madre 
(A special letter from my dear mom that brought joy to my heart! I know my motivation 
to write or do anything creative comes from my mom!)

Monedas y billetes de otro pais que me trajo una amiga en su aventura del verano (Kuna and BAM currency of Croatia and Bosnia which a friend brought back from her summer adventure back to her homeland..she even wrote a blog about it here!

Son las cosas pequenas y inesperadas que significan algo GRANDE!

   (It's always the little things that are meaningful in a BIG way.)

Estoy muy agradecida..

(Truly Grateful....)

tygijn

Revelations...

     Earlier last week I posted on my Facebook that God has revealed himself to me in many ways.  This indeed is true and continues to be true.  Of course, I am a firm believer that God constantly reveals himself to us in many ways, but we are not always paying attention.  I have been feeling beyond grateful for the many blessings in my life.  It has been such a relief to finish grad school and finally begin my life's work at Mount Sinai.  The Lord opened many doors for me but this one was the one that felt right.  Only God knows what plans He has laid out for me.  I had no clue I'd be working with high risk patients who are over 65 and live with multiple chronic illnesses for the beginning of this work.  But I know that in time the purpose of this will be revealed to me.  I pray for the holy spirit to guide me every step of the way.  That I can be an instrument of His peace.  That everything that I do may be for the glory of God.  

     Working in a hospital is not for everyone.  For me, I know I am surrounded by people who have dedicated their lives to serving others every day.  When I first began my journey in contemplating my life's work, medical social work was not an option for me.  Now, I am part of the medical team.  This is a very exciting time to be part of a medical profession as things are rapidly changing for the good. The medical professions are becoming interdisciplinary teams instead of separate professions. Regardless of our titles, we all have the responsibility of providing our patients with the best care possible.  It is our duty to work together as a team.  It is a great concept that has been coming to fruition slowly but surely among the many medical disciplines.  This is also an exciting time to be part of Mount Sinai as it is expanding to become one of the largest medical centers and schools of medicine in the state.  I am looking forward to growing and learning to push the envelope of what I can do, and I know this is where I will do it.  I am already being inspired by my team who has been so supportive and amazing in such short time I have been there.  I am grateful to be part of this team and to have found my life's work.  

True humility and fear of the LORD lead to riches, honor, and long life.  

Proverbs 22:4

Each time he said, "My grace is all you need.  My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 

2 Corinthians 12:9

Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love. 

1 John 4:8

Info on Mount Sinai Hospital

Info on Mount Sinai in the Bible

Exodus 19-20

Mi vida bilingüe

     Me tomó mucho tiempo empezar este blog hace mas de tres años.  Ni siquiera me he dado cuenta del tiempo que ha pasado hasta ahora.  Pero cuando regreso a leer las entradas del pasado me alegra mucho saber que he evolucionado con el tiempo.  Es interesante ver los cambios en mi misma mientras voy aprendiendo a traves de mis experiencias vividas.  Pienso que mientras pasa el tiempo voy transformandome poquito a poco mas en mi ser auténtico.

     Entonces para celebrar la existencia de este blog y estar mas cerca de mi ser autentico, este blog tiene que ser bilingüe.  Por mucho tiempo he querido hacerlo pero siempre me quedo con el pensamiento de lo complicado que puede ser.  Pues la vida bilingüe no es fácil.  Aveces se me hace difícil escribir una entrada por falta de tiempo que solo pensar en tener que traducirlo es una locura y casi imposible.  Pero como nada es imposible con la ayuda de Dios he decidido solo escribir y no pensar tanto en que lenguaje será.  La verdad es que en el proceso de aprender ingles y tener que hablarlo en este país se me ha puesto un poco opaco el español.  Pero mi vida empezó en español y mis oraciones son en español y todavía el español es mi lengua principal.  Y mira que al fin encontré una profesión que me llena el corazón y que podría satisfacer mi sed de servirle a mi comunidad hispana.  La mayoría de mis pacientes son personas hispanas que no hablan ni un poquito de ingles.  Me pregunto como voy a tener un blog que me permite compartir con otros y no hacerlo en español también.

     Se que mi espíritu me esta empujando a seguir este viaje en bilingüe.  Es más, hace unos años atrás fui a un retiro espiritual de jóvenes.  Cuando llegue adonde nos íbamos a quedar por el fin de semana y entre a mi cuarto allí estaba una Biblia encima de mi cama.  Nos regalaron Biblias a todos y algunos recibieron Biblias en ingles y algunos en español.  Yo pensaba que la mía iba ser en ingles pero allí estaba una nueva y brillante Biblia en español con un papelito adentro.  El papelito fue escrito por una persona extraña que no había conocido hasta después del retiro.  La foto en este blog es ese mensaje que recibí.  Dice "Rosa, que Dios te conceda la comprensión del viaje bilingüe que el a establecido para ti."  Bueno, hay que hacerle caso a Dios y a las personas en nuestro camino que Dios usa para mandarnos mensajes, aunque a pasado el tiempo nunca es tarde.

     Le doy gracias a Dios por la fortaleza de poder seguir este viaje de escribir mis pensamientos y compartir tanto de mi con el mundo, especialmente mi familia y mis amistades.  Le doy gracias a Dios también por iluminarme el camino a través de mis seres queridos y hasta de personas que tal vez nunca tendría mas que solo un encuentro.  Dios nos inspira de muchas maneras y nos extiende el camino para seguir creciendo y aprendiendo ha acercarnos mas a nuestro ser auténtico.

gadendj

(c)  rosaserárosa (rosewillberose)