Reflections on Easter Vigil

     Easter is such an exciting time in the life of a Christian.  The resurrection of Jesus is basically the foundation of Christianity.  Growing up my parents were always avid churchgoers, so we had a close knit community that would come together every Sunday.  However, I remember that on Easter Sunday the church was filled with folks celebrating the resurrection of Christ.  In the Catholic church it is the time of year to see images of Christ resurrecting instead of suffering on the cross.  It is a time to rejoice and be glad that the Lord has risen! 

    It wasn't until 2008, while living in New York City, that I attended the Easter Vigil on Holy Saturday.  I had no idea this ceremony took place in all the years growing up in the church.  What a beautiful ceremony it is.  I remember walking to my parish and entering a pitch black church and someone handing me a candle upon entering.  There was just but a small spark of light coming from one of the altar servers holding a candle while the priest read from the book of Genesis.  I was moved by just seeing that tiny spark of light.  Then that tiny spark of light lit up a parishioner's candle and that parishioner lit up the next person's candle and so forth until it got all the way to me.  I felt so blessed and connected with my parish members.  It was beautiful to see us all provide each other with light.  From then on I knew I wanted to attend the Easter Vigil every year.  

    Unfortunately I did not attend this year's Easter Vigil, but I wanted to write about my first encounter of it to remember how special this day is in my life.  I almost felt like that day in 2008 it was a renewal of my commitment to Christ and to my neighbors.  I did not know about the Easter Vigil through my parents who baptized me Catholic and raised me in the church.  I learned about it on my own through the guidance of the Lord.  So this year I will celebrate the Lord's resurrection on Easter Sunday-just like old times.  It will be a day to remember my commitment to Christ and to celebrate life! 

This is the day the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Psalm 118:24

P.S. If anyone is reading this, I am wondering if you have any reflections on a time you felt you were making or renewing your commitment to Christ?

Good Friday Reflections

     Though I am swamped with schoolwork and did not allow myself to step outside of my house, I am grateful to Busted Halo (BH) for creating the virtual stations on the cross.  I was able to take some time out of my day to let reflect on Jesus and His journey on the cross.  Here are a few prayers and reflections that spoke to me:

Oh God help me to be courageous with Jesus like Veronica was when she wiped the face of Jesus on the Cross.

"Grow your kingdom with us, Jesus.  Be there for us  in our trials and sufferings, and let us do the same for others." (BH)

Oh God, help us to understand that just "being there" for others helps, the way the women of Jerusalem were there for Jesus during His carrying of the cross.

Oh Lord help us not to fall for the wrong reasons but if we do fall may it be for the right reasons as Jesus did.

"The kingdom begins with nothing more than a deep, personal, intimate and real relationship with Him." (BH)

"...we are Christians only if we encounter Christ...." (Pope Benedict)

Oh God help me to have a daily encounter with Christ Jesus.

"We cannot be part-time disciples." (BH)

Oh God help me to know and focus on the fact that the good outweighs the bad.

Help us Oh Lord "to let go of relationships that no longer give life, to let go of old opinions that hurt others, and to let go of old patterns of living that spread only bad."  (BH)

"Please free our fears of letting go.."  (BH)

"...and help us to know that you will be there to open new life for us." (BH)

     I haven't gotten to do as much for Holy week as I would have liked but I did go to Adoration on Tuesday at St. Malachy's on 49th and Broadway.  It was very comforting for me to return to this place I used to frequent when I worked in that area.  I met up with a good old friend of mine and as we sat there in adoration a few other friends and fellow christians joined us in silence.  After our quiet time with Christ we shared a meal and fellowship at a restaurant on 9th avenue.  I felt blessed to be gathered there with fellow young adult Catholics, some new and some old friends.  

     One of the topics that came up in conversation was how many of us are known as "cradle" Catholics and how difficult it has been to define or explain our reasons for remaining Catholic throughout our lives besides of course saying that "my parents are Catholic."  One of the difficulties mentioned were how we do not remember our baptism, and how we secretly long to renew our baptismal vows with Christ in some kind of rebirth ceremony.  I remember mentioning that I do have some recollection of my confirmation ceremony and process, but unfortunately do not remember who was my Saint nor much of what I was taught then.  I mentioned how I secretly would love to experience my confirmation once again in my young adult life and truly understand the magnitude of receiving the gift of the Holy Spirit of Christ.  Though some did talk about remembering the ceremony and knowing their saint, they agreed that it would be a whole different experience as a young adult.

     The conversation made me further contemplate about how much we long for belonging and how much we are a people of ritual.  In our group there was one fellow who had converted to Catholicism five years ago.  He was not a cradle Catholic and remembers receiving his sacraments of initiation.  It was quite inspiring to see his conviction for Christ and the Catholic Church.  Though we "cradle" Catholics are fortunate to have been born into the church, I think most of us secretly long to renew our vows to Christ so that we can feel more connected to His church, the saints, and the Holy Spirit.  May God fulfill this longing for us through Christ Jesus.

Amen.



Thank you Jesus!

     As I sit here struggling to focus on my schoolwork, I think about how crazy it is that I am going to be done with grad school at the end of May (God willing!).  This will be a huge milestone in my life that I know is going to open many doors for me and take me many places.  I am looking forward to knowing what it feels like to grow in a profession and to feel that I was made for it.  I don't know where this journey will take me next but I am grateful and openhearted....

He is my Lord...who knows me well.

     Lately, I have been paying attention to the details of my life and God has been sending me messages through people.  One of those people has been my auntie Teresa in Chicago.  She is a woman of God who has always spoken truth and light into my life.  This is the latest message she sent me from the women's bible she gifted me..

"Every woman who walks with God walks through storms, winds, and rain.  O woman of God, your life is filled with challenges and victories, smiles and tears.  You are a careful blend of life's many spices.  Your personality is a potpourri of so many different things that years of knowing you will not reveal everything that makes you who you are.  You are carefully concocted and slowly simmered, stirred patiently by the Lord.  It is amazing how deliberate God is in preparing you for your destiny.  He knows exactly how long it will take.  He knows who to send into your life.  He knows what events it will take to bring you to a place of maturity in Him.  He is your lord.

It does not take long to realize that though you may have many admirers, friends, and family, none will ever take the place of your Lord.  His place in your life is the foundation of every success you will ever enjoy.  He will be there in every moment of pain and glory.  He is the force that brings the pieces of your life together.  It is His tender love for you that keeps your mind from breaking under the stress of life.  And when all is said and done, no one can comfort you or hold you like He can.

You may be prosperous in your business, secure in your relationships, confident in who you are, but it is all because of Him.  It is knowing Him that gives you the grace to endure transitions, to withstand opposition, and to deflect the ammunition of the enemy.  He enables you to know when the day is at its end.  He will watch you through the night and His kiss will being you out of your sleep come dawn.  He is your Lord.

Oh yes, for men it is a privilege to know and love, hold and touch a lady of excellence.  It is an honor to be born out of your womb.  It is a distinct privilege to take your hand in marriage.  It is a joy to hear the laughter that comes from the mouth of a woman whose heart is filled with love and peace.  We watch you like admirers in a museum.  We appreciate you like connoisseurs of fine cuisine.  But, when all is said and done, there is a part of your life that none can touch-but your Lord.

So know Him and love Him and worship Him.  Of all the men on earth, no one can ever speak to your spirit or heal your heart like your Lord."  
                                                                        (from Women's Bible, T.D. Jakes)

Thank you Titi Tere for sharing this with me and always guiding me back to what is good and true.  Thank you for being an instrument of God's glory to bring others peace and light and always teaching me to do the same.  To God all the glory!

Empowering Women of Color

     I fell upon this tiny gem of a book unexpectedly as I visited the public library today.  Just this week the Women of Color Collective at my school gathered to have a discussion on what it means to be a woman of color.  We began with a short exercise on what we think it means to be a woman of color in the U.S.  Here are a few responses:

-to be silenced 

-to be resistant

-passing down the heritage

-oppressed

-being a fighter

-beautiful and unique

-complex situation

-blessed curse

-being strong when you don't feel like it

-being an educator when you want to be learning

-defined by her experience

-skin color/last name/physical features

-assertive, voice of presence

-sense of presence

-nurturer

-cannot pick and choose

-countertransference 

-protector of men of color

     A long awaited and much needed discussion took place from the above responses.  It will, however, be an ongoing dialogue regarding issues of race and self-identification.  I hope we can continue to provide a safe space for women of color to come together and share the truth about our life experiences, thoughts, and frustrations.

Also some inspiring quotes that were shared by one of the members:

"Walls turned sideways are bridges"  by Angela Davis

"My silences had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you. But for every real word spoken, for every attempt I had ever made to speak those truths for which I am still seeking, I had made contact with other women while we examined the words to fit a world in which we all believed, bridging our differences" by Audre Lorde

    Now, back to the little gem of a book I mentioned above.  I wanted to share one of the entries in the book that spoke to me.  I am grateful to God that in my life experiences He has blessed me with the gift to be able to empower other women through my life's work.  I know there is so much to be done out there and still so much to learn on how to encourage and build one another up, especially when we ourselves are falling apart.  I share this bit of wisdom with anyone in hopes that it can speak truth in your life.

ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Lord, many are in destructive marriages, yet wish to state, as Your Word suggests: "Til death do us apart."

Thank you Lord, for granting us the spiritual discernment to know that You did not mean only the death of one's body, but also the death of one's spirit, and even the death of the contract.  As Nicodemus came to know, one does not have to re-enter his mother's womb to be born again, and neither does one have to die a physical death to be dead.

Give those who are being abused the strength needed to stand up to the abuse or give them the courage to leave.  Grant the abusers Your grace and mercy. Draw them closer to You, that persons may find spiritual nourishment for empty souls. In Christ's name we pray, Amen

by: Rev. Chestina Mitchell Archibald 

taken from: Women of Color Pray: Voices of Strength, Faith,

Healing, Hope and Courage

Prayer is Powerful..

     I can't help but think about the damage that Hurricane Sandy has done to the lives of many people.  Here I am grateful to God that I did not experience damage from the storm, yet I can't seem to disconnect myself from others who have experienced major destruction.  We don't know the importance of something until we lose it.  

   Sometimes during these difficult times it is hard to find the words for prayer.  There is so much we want to ask for.  I found the following prayers and thought I would share them here.

     For those whose lives have been majorly altered, I offer the following prayer:

Prayer for Overcoming Life's Hardships

O Lord, we call upon You in our time of sorrow,

That You give us the strength and will to bear our heavy

burdens, until we can again feel the warmth and love of

Your divine compassion. Be mindful of us and have mercy

on us while we struggle to comprehend life's hardships.

Keep us ever in Your watch, til we can walk again with

light hearts and renewed spirits.

Amen

     For those who were not majorly affected, I offer the following prayer:

To be Grateful

Lord God, may we be grateful for our lot,

and compassionate toward all those who are

suffering every kind of distress at this

difficult time.

May we hold back nothing, and 
hasten to be 

the ministers of prayer and mercy,
 

like the disciples of Him who went about 

doing 
good in times of need.

Amen

     The power of prayer is very powerful.  I thank my family and friends for all their prayers and concerns in anticipation of the storm, during the storm, and after the storm.  They truly served as a blanket of protection for me.  Now we must continue praying for others! 

An open heart.

     This morning I awake in gratitude.  It has been a difficult road, trekking the edge of the path, hitting the rocky ground, and finding my way among the thorns.  This life full of distractions, full of rocks and boulders in the form of fear, shame, guilt, bitterness, selfishness, jealousy, and a shallow and passionless attitude about growth.  This life smothered by the countless worries and concerns of my life. Yet, there is something in me that is not content to hang about directionless on the edge of the path.  There is a thirst within me so strong that it will move aside the rocks and boulders to seek moisture.  There is a yearning so intense in the desire to put God first.

     Today I will contemplate on this scripture:

The farmer waits 

for the precious crop

from the earth,

being patient with it

until it receives

the early and the late rains.

You also must be patient.

Strengthen your hearts, 

for the coming of the Lord is near.

            James 5:7-8