I am praying...praying for the Lord's guidance. Quite often do I fall into this frustration with my job. I feel like I am not doing anything of substance. In fact just today was confirmation of that. I am reading this book called Life@Work by John C. Maxwell which talks about how to exercise your faith at work. As soon as I began reading chapter one I knew this book was going to be the next Spiritual Non-Fiction book on my list, and not just a book I will read but one I need a notebook for. I find myself taking notes out of every paragraph. I am on chapter two where he is talking about finding scripture that can "frame the image of what it looks like for someone to be actively engaged in both the commercial and the kingdom side of life?" Isn't that amazing? Love it...ok so he uses the example of David the shepherd-king. He goes on to describe the four characteristics of King David's life that contributed to his success 1) his calling, 2) his service, 3) his character, and 4) his skill. So for the first one, I came upon a line that really made me think. It says here, "without calling, all you have is a job." Then it went on to say, "Working from calling, gives you confidence in your mission." When I read that I had to stop and close the book. I needed to absorb those two lines although I knew deep down inside for a long time to be true.
In fact as I thought about it through the day I realized that I went to paralegal school to try to build that confidence I felt I needed to pursue a career in law. I was not fond of paralegal school, I graduated with honors because I pushed myself to be the best at what I had committed myself to. However, nothing from that experience really stayed with me. The only thing I can say that really excited me was an online Ethics class I had that required me to do research and write papers, I did really well in that class and enjoyed doing the writing which had nothing to do with actual legal research. Legal Research itself was a pain. I just couldn't see myself doing that for a decade of my life. I think I need to really let go of this idea that I am supposed to be in the legal field.
I trust in the Lord and I know that He will light my path and is doing so already. I need to stop getting frustrated and just be. Right now I have a stable job that is helping me get on my feet financially but is not giving me any confidence to move forward. Knowing that God is with me is what gives me confidence. I pray that the Lord can light my path and help me to see where He needs me to be. To help me patiently await divine inspiration from the Holy Spirit. I ask this in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior.