As Boys II Men's "On Bended Knee" just came on it truly took me back to when I was a young girl and I used to listen to these songs and fantasize about a boy singing these songs to me. It was always such a beautiful and romantic fantasy for me that I desired would someday come true. With this particular song I remember I used to have a crush on this boy my brother was friends with. I remember I had a banana seat strawberry shortcake bike and even though I was sometimes feeling weird about riding it, it was the only way I got to ride around his block to see if he was around. I remember he would ask me to let him use the banana bike and I thought it was so so funny that he didn’t care if anyone saw him on that strawberry shortcake banana seat bike. Sometimes I wish I can have those beautiful fantasies in my mind again because they seem almost sweeter and healthier than real life. Right now I am going to hold on to this beautiful memory.
Yesterday I had a truly refreshing and uplifting dinner and conversation with a group of spiritual women. There were so many awesome messages we all shared with each other. I remember one of the women shared some inspiration that she read somewhere about how we should always allow ourselves to desire things. Even if they may not always be the best thing for us, we should allow ourselves to desire things because usually what we desire says a lot about who we truly are in the pure sense of the word without outside influences or other people’s perspectives. Most of the desires of our hearts don’t actually come to life, so even those naughty desires won’t necessarily come to pass but the desire of it may just allow us to get it out of our system.
With the passing of Whitney Houston and listening to all her songs...it has really taken me back to many beautiful memories of growing up listening to her music, and other artists like Monica, Mariah Carey, Toni Braxton, Aaliyah, and having such desires in my heart of being a famous singer like them or even just being in that state of love they all sang about. The idea that my perception of life was so pure and brand new then and not tainted by the scars of life, says a lot about the desires I had in my heart. I desired things I had never experienced, and to me that is pretty intriguing. Its like our hearts are made to desire things we don’t even know anything about, there something so pure and deep about that.
Music has a way of taking us back. I thank Whitney Houston for bringing us the music we loved so much and sharing her beautiful gift with us even if it came at such a heavy cost. I am grateful for her sacrifice. Even listening to some of her early songs, it is evident what some of Whitney's desires of the heart were..so pure and true.